Unexpected Plans

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

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This year has been an extremely challenging one for me. I have a family, I'm in graduate school, I work part time and I have my own business. Last month I found out that I was pregnant, which is great news. I had been having some difficulties with the pregnancy and found out last week that I had a miscarriage. I have been feeling guilty lately and am wondering if there was something I could have done differently. I know that God has a plan for my life, even though this one was unexpected. Even as I am typing this, I am having second thoughts about posting it, but hopefully I will inspire and encourage someone else. Even though things don't happen the way we want them to, there's a reason for everything. Don't try to analyze or figure out why, just know and believe that things will reveal themselves when you are ready to understand them.

Here is a poem that I wrote about this experience.

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Life Unborn

You were my unexpected miracle
The next bloom on my apple tree
Already done picked out your names
Envisioned your facial features
Staring back at me

My instincts warned me
That something was wrong
When the doctor told me the news
I sat in disbelief
I feel numb inside
Just want to go and hide
In that secret place inside of me

I am in sync with Mother Nature
As my life unborn flowed from my womb
My heart began to break
The tears poured from the windows of my soul
Thunderstorms reflect my inner being

Guilt is setting in
What if crowds my thoughts
Through this pain
I am reminded that
God has a plan
A divine purpose for my life
Even though my path is hidden from me
All things will reveal themselves
In time

-CHarding 2008 Copyright